this Sunday, you're not so bad

a brief convo between father and I via text.

Me: "you still going to miami?"
Howie: "Not likely. No hotties calling"
Me: "really?? I feel like miami bachelors would be the most eager!"
Me: "Should I set you up with Ilana's momma? She's a paralegal I think"
Howie: "I thought you said she was a bit nuts!"
Me: "yeah, but maybe she's just a crazy mom. And we were 15. Going to write Ilana and see if she's single."
Howie: "Ok thanks."

All verbatim. Definitely brightened up my Sunday. It's also gorgeous out..might just take my little self for a walk!

Also, since the boys' visit, I've been smoking in my apartment. It's gross!




Sorry sisters, for not being able to join in on the FUN at the Itkins for dinner tonight.



I'll have all of you know that despite my laziness, I threw on my Air Force Ones and walked my ass down and back up the big ol' hill that I reside on. Had dinner and wine at the bottom and then panted heavily the whole way up. My ass is totally tighter already. HAH. Came home and attempted to fix the clog in my bathtub, but somehow got draino on my right index finger. Actually that's a lie, I totally know how. Right after I poured it, I decided to pick at the hair in the drain using a bobby pin. Unfortunately the pin was pretty short and.. yeah, you catch my drift. Not my finest moment. My finger is still numb (an hr later). Am I supposed to call poison control??

UH OH!!!!!!!!!

On a lighter note, HAPPY 50TH BIRFFDAY!!!

I'm sorry I once (or numerous times) made you do naughty things to/with Ken. I hope it didn't fuck you up too bad. LALA XO


sunday bloody sunday

Fuck Sundays! And losing an hour of sleep/at the bar last night/in life. The drive back to Buttfuck from mtl felt like forever, but I'm home now.. and reality is settling in. hah. Fuck school and spring break being over!! Had an amazing, FUNtastic week though, despite there being no beaches or flashing of the titties. Maybe next time.

**UPDATE>> Remember when I tried to hop, skip, jump over that metal gate at the cottage but instead smoked both my shins?? Well, they've been a little sore ever since, but now, exactly a week later, I have insane bruises. Is that weird/bad/am I gonna die???

NINE DAYS TIL TEXAS!!!! And I'm sure they'll be the longest, slowest days ever.


I got the flux

Had Indian buffet for dins--got filled to the max and have had crazy burps and stomach insanity ever since (5 hrs ago). The fact that I was mildly food poisoned at lunch (quiche from Bean Bar), or so I think, probably isn't helping the whole situation.. going to get baked and watch Lost and try to forget.

On a side note, my dad is JOKES.

re: America's Next Top Model- "That girl's not that great"

re: computer illiteracy- "I tried to write Sarah (Byrnes) a message, but I think I wrote on her wall"

I was tempted to tief a twenty from his wad of cash just laying on the kitchen table, but I DID NOT. Trying to up my karma level. I suppose shoving 3 shirts on under my clothes to avoid paying at Value Village today isn't a good start. shiz.