CE SOIR

If you know what's good (like, actually).. come to Crooked Star tonight for my big sis Becky's art show.



202 Ossington.

Starts around 7.

PAWTYYYYYYYY

niggaz gone wild

it's 1:20pm

And I've already had a glass of wine. Is that horrible? I woke up at 7am to study before my exam at 9, and on the way home I bought a forty and a bottle of wine to break passover with/celebrate. I thought it was illegal to sell booze before 11am? I bought mine at 10:38am and got id'd and majorly judged. Stupid bitch.

ONE MORE WEEK TIL THE BEGINNING OF ALL THIS (and oh, so much more):

SAVE ME

I'm in one of the computer labs at school (coincidentally called "Hamilton") and this Asian (Chinese, i think?) chick beside me is listening to headphones and, I have no idea what the fuck she's watching, but she won't stop giggling and randomly whispering. It's driving me INSANE. I have 2 exams in the next 32 hours, KEEP IT DOWN BITCH. Also, I'm pretty sure someone is eating an everything bagel toasted with herb and garlic cream cheese and I WANT TO CRY/DIE/ASK FOR A BITE.

ps. Had 2 amazing Easter dinners Sunday and Monday. Mrs. Edith Preston was kind enough to make me a non-bready stuffing, which was quite delicious (and extremely thoughtful)! Also, met a CHILF. That was a bonus.

After unsuccessfully scouring the plateau for matzah with zp, I drove to Westmount and bought 4 boxes. Made INCREDIBLE (not to toot my own horn) matzah brittle and my LV posse went crazy over it. Ate a tonne of turkey, amongst a million other things, last night at the potluck and passed out by 10pm. But for some reason I'm EXHAUSTED today. Shitty. Maybe that's why the innocent little Chinese girl is pissing the shit out of me.

this Sunday, you're not so bad

a brief convo between father and I via text.

Me: "you still going to miami?"
Howie: "Not likely. No hotties calling"
Me: "really?? I feel like miami bachelors would be the most eager!"
Howie: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
Me: "Should I set you up with Ilana's momma? She's a paralegal I think"
Howie: "I thought you said she was a bit nuts!"
Me: "yeah, but maybe she's just a crazy mom. And we were 15. Going to write Ilana and see if she's single."
Howie: "Ok thanks."

All verbatim. Definitely brightened up my Sunday. It's also gorgeous out..might just take my little self for a walk!

Also, since the boys' visit, I've been smoking in my apartment. It's gross!

CHAG SAMEACH

HAPPY PURIM!!

Sorry sisters, for not being able to join in on the FUN at the Itkins for dinner tonight.

CORROSIVE

I'll have all of you know that despite my laziness, I threw on my Air Force Ones and walked my ass down and back up the big ol' hill that I reside on. Had dinner and wine at the bottom and then panted heavily the whole way up. My ass is totally tighter already. HAH. Came home and attempted to fix the clog in my bathtub, but somehow got draino on my right index finger. Actually that's a lie, I totally know how. Right after I poured it, I decided to pick at the hair in the drain using a bobby pin. Unfortunately the pin was pretty short and.. yeah, you catch my drift. Not my finest moment. My finger is still numb (an hr later). Am I supposed to call poison control??

UH OH!!!!!!!!!

On a lighter note, HAPPY 50TH BIRFFDAY!!!

I'm sorry I once (or numerous times) made you do naughty things to/with Ken. I hope it didn't fuck you up too bad. LALA XO

sunday bloody sunday

Fuck Sundays! And losing an hour of sleep/at the bar last night/in life. The drive back to Buttfuck from mtl felt like forever, but I'm home now.. and reality is settling in. hah. Fuck school and spring break being over!! Had an amazing, FUNtastic week though, despite there being no beaches or flashing of the titties. Maybe next time.

**UPDATE>> Remember when I tried to hop, skip, jump over that metal gate at the cottage but instead smoked both my shins?? Well, they've been a little sore ever since, but now, exactly a week later, I have insane bruises. Is that weird/bad/am I gonna die???

NINE DAYS TIL TEXAS!!!! And I'm sure they'll be the longest, slowest days ever.

I got the flux

Had Indian buffet for dins--got filled to the max and have had crazy burps and stomach insanity ever since (5 hrs ago). The fact that I was mildly food poisoned at lunch (quiche from Bean Bar), or so I think, probably isn't helping the whole situation.. going to get baked and watch Lost and try to forget.

On a side note, my dad is JOKES.

re: America's Next Top Model- "That girl's not that great"

re: computer illiteracy- "I tried to write Sarah (Byrnes) a message, but I think I wrote on her wall"

I was tempted to tief a twenty from his wad of cash just laying on the kitchen table, but I DID NOT. Trying to up my karma level. I suppose shoving 3 shirts on under my clothes to avoid paying at Value Village today isn't a good start. shiz.

HOME SHWEET HOME

The last 36 hours feels equivalent to a week. I woke up Wednesday (yesterday??!) morning at 6am to study before my 8:30am Finance exam. Right after I finished, I ate and then started studying for my 3pm exam. After that, I went home to pack and clean my apartment, went to my friends' for a pot luck, and then left Lennoxville at 9pm for an 8 hour drive back to Hamilton. Arrived around 5am to a little afterparty sissy Beck was throwin. Went to sleep by 6am (haven't pulled an all-nighter since it was the cool thing to do in grade 8!), woke up at 1pm, and then went to my dentist appointment where I got a ROOT CANAL. Didn't even realize til' afterwards (I thought it was just a cavity). I'm going to drink so much pop and eat so much candy now (as I haven't really been able to with my bummed tooth/root).

Now that you know my life story, LETS GET CRUUUUUUUNKED. And pretend we're on a beach and flash our tits like there's no tomorrow SPRING BREAK WOOOOOO!!!!

drinks on meee

So I won 15 bones today, in a bet I had going with 3 classmates/friends/drug dealer. We each put in $5 and the person with the best mark on our Hinduism/Jainism quiz would get the dough. Saweeeeet. Except one didn't come to class (we found out his mark), one "didn't have her wallet", and the other is my drug dealer and I already owed him $10. So as of now, i'm down $5..but I suppose up $5 worth of da ganja. Could be worse, I guess.

I've been wikipedia-ing a lot of shit lately for some reason.. well, mostly people and stuff to do with aliens. Though, I just read about marijuana (initially to find funny synonyms), and it's pretty jokes:

"Marijuana users typically only smoke resin as a last resort when they have run out of marijuana flowers."

HAHA TOTESS

DOWN BELOW NEIGHBOUR>> SHUT YOUR FUCKING SHIT ASS FINGER 11 TYPE SHIT MUSIC OFF. It's weird, they/he/she blasts shit music around the same time every night. It's like clockwork! and it's shaking my floor.

caca rouge

My hair is currently soaked in Henna and wrapped in a plastic Provigo bag. It's a good thing I'm home alone, I look like a fucking freak.

Can't decide whether I should attempt to study for Wednesday's midterms or if I should get stoned and watch 2012 Apocalypse documentaries and/or LOST SEASON 2(!!). Hmm. I think I will go with the latter (obvi). I suck.

Peace, yo.

ps. Mickey Rourke actually looks kinda hot (on the Red Carpet). Usually, his retoddedly fake face makes me wanna yak.

Don't try this at home

WOAH DON'T FUCK WITH THESE GUYS!

I need a good home workout video. I hate going to the gym and i'm pretty sure i'm developing a little bit of a "tire" (is that what that's called?).

YOU

not saying a simple "thanks" when I pick you up and drive you places makes me not want to be your friend. Seriously.

Bob Saget

is cool. And him on Conan right now is great- its like watching 2 friends have a fucking jokes conversation about nothing.


and after Friday, CONAN IS NO LONGER?? WTF?